'Nothing Is Nothing'
By: Rey Jorca Supranes

There is nothing in nothing.
Nothing is surrender;
Nothing is void;
Nothing breathes if you let it be.

There is nothing in nothing.
Nothing is felt after a terrible loss;
Nothing is absorbed after an embarrassing defeat;
Nothing lingers and torments as long as you let it be.

There is nothing in nothing.
Nothing is the road so easy to take;
And yet there are so many potholes;
Damaging tires of value and significance;
Nothing disables the determination to keep going if you let it be.

There is nothing in nothing.
Nothing is a blanket that covers the shivering soul of the down-and-outer;
Nothing warms the feeling of lack of interest;
Nothing lets you sleep in hopelessness if you let it be.

There is nothing in nothing
If you make yourself into something
Important and worthwhile.

There is nothing in nothing
If you let it be.

'My Mother's Story'
By: Rey Jorca Supranes

Every time I am greedy, I think of her kindness;
Every time I am selfish, I think of her selflessness;
Every time I am about to raise my voice, I think of her calmness;

Every time I need a hug, I think of her warm embrace;
Every time I feel lazy and unmotivated, I think of her hard work and sacrifice;
Every time I feel like giving up, I think of how she remained strong and overcame adversities;

Every time I am in the height of callousness, I think of her compassion;
Every time I need to forgive, I think of how she has forgiven those who done her wrong;
Every time I am boastful, I think of how she always kept her feet on the ground;

Every time I feel tired of living alone in my own truth, I think of our connectivity where words are unnecessary;
Every time I am distraught, I think of her lullaby;
Every time I feel like losing my orbit, I think of her strategy on how to manage to get by;

Every time I have to tell my story, I think of my mother's story.

'WORK PERMIT'

Rey Jorca Supranes

When you died,

'Twas a bereavement.

The red leaf ceased to flourish;

Expectations were on the rise

Of becoming dry and wrinkled;

Wilting wasn't that far.

I was left confined, shackled, restrained;

Uncertainties loomed;

Is this the end of the road?

I strived, I sought;

To bring you back to life.

Your resurrection through the magnificent lake;

With its weightless current waded right in

For my freedom and restoration.

When you finally landed in my hands;

You give strength and freshness;

To a new leaf

Of hopes and dreams.

'Luha Ni Inay'

Rey Jorca Supranes

Nakakulong sa mga nagkikislapang mga mata

Pumipiglas, umaaklas;

Humihiyaw, gumagalaw.

Kalayaan ay nais makamtan

Pag-agos ng tagos;

Pagdaloy ng tuloy-tuloy.

Pumapatak mula sa galak

Ang balong pinagmumulan,

Damdamin ng isang inang sinisilayan

Sanggol na galing sa sinapupunan.

'From C To B'

Rey Jorca Supranes

Dear B,
We complete each other. You are the reason why I continue to be useful and serve my purpose. While you let me find my niche in this world, I always make you 100% complete for the daily grind. I know you were always burned out from the demands you are required to deliver but you are holding on at the last bar of your life because you know I am ready to reconnect with you and sustain you. This is "us" - to reconnect and disconnect. You'll be away for several hours a day and you'll find me. I was always there for you. I never get tired of putting you back to life. I didn't complain because you are my so-called "life" too. Your weakness gives me strength because that's the only time I feel important. Ours is a marriage of give and take. A union of two that seemed to be perfect. But not all love stories have a happy ending. As years go by, you have been so "clingy." You don't give enough space to both of us. You don't want to be away from me. The space that we respected and give time for each other to grow has been violated. This is burning me out. You are eating too much of my time because you refused to function without me reconnecting to you. I don't want to think that I give up on our love but you pushed me to do so. It is not only me feeling this way but also our Owner who made our union possible in October 2012. You have known for the very start that in order for this marriage to work out, you have to deliver your best performance. The Owner has not been happy with me being around with you most of the time and I am sensing our parting ways will soon to happen. If that happens, I am thanking you for the three wonderful years of being "partners" in delivering great satisfaction to our Owner, Rey. Always remember you are my first battery to give my full love of power.

With lots of love,
C (Charger)

'What My Father Taught Me'

Rey Jorca Supranes

My father did not teach me how to drive a vehicle but he taught me how to drive my life;
My father did not teach me how to throw and catch a ball but he taught me how to catch myself when life is throwing me curve balls;
My father did not teach me how to use the worldwide web but he taught me how to avoid getting tangled in my own webs;
My father did not teach me how to hammer a nail but he taught me how to nail down my insecurities;
My father did not teach me how to fly a plane but he taught me how to grow my wings and soar high;
My father did not teach me how to fire a gun but he taught me how to shoot my dreams;
My father did not teach me how to sing a song but he taught me how to be in tune with my peers;
My father did not teach me how to dance but he taught me how to have rhythm in life's blows;
My father did not teach me to regard crying as making me less of a man but he taught me shedding tears make me human;
My father did not teach me how to be a tightwad for the rainy days but he taught me to be crafty during drought.
My father did not teach me how to swim but he taught me some strokes to paddle my way out of the sea of sharks;
My father did not teach me to be himself but he taught me to be myself.

Happy Father's Day, Tatay Bert!
We love you!

'PAIN'

Rey Jorca Supranes

What it is with pain? Why it demands to be felt? Why it renders an individual to be dispensable?
I had a gnawing pain in my stomach in the last two weeks of June. I just ignored it thinking as just a mere stomach spasm. It did interfere my general functioning but shrugging it off didn’t do any good as the feeling became more intense.
I took pain reliever to ease the pain but it would only give me relief for four hours. I started losing my appetite, felt nauseous and a sudden urge to vomit. Coldness blanketed my entire body while perspiring profusely. I felt sick and I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I brought myself to the hospital’s emergency rather than seeing my family doctor which turned out to be the best decision. After waiting for almost 5 hours to be attended to, the medical staff took all my vitals. I underwent to a lot of tests (ultra sound, blood test, urinalysis, x-rays) while on IV (Intravenous therapy).
While waiting for my results, three doctors came to my room and informed me that the results weren’t good. Upon hearing their words, it devastated me a bit as it still didn’t sink in what are they supposed to do with me. Until they told me that they were holding me up as I am scheduled for surgery of my appendix as early as tomorrow morning. I refuted and even suggested to do all the tests again as they might be wrong. They were firm with their decision and conducting another test is far from possible. They leave it up to me to decide if I still want the surgery or sign a waiver exempting them of any culpability of not wanting a surgery.
I have to make a decision right away if I really want the pain to go away for good. I have to make a decision that I will be cut up and dissected. I have to make a decision that this thin tube about four inches long in my lower right abdomen which causing me pain has to be removed. One doctor came back to let me sign a document that I would want a surgery and explained to me of any possibilities after the surgery: 1% of infection and 1% of infecting other good organs within my abdomen. “Why is he telling me all of these? Is he scaring me off?” are words that swirled in my mind. I have to verbalize what I am thinking until I uttered a word “WHAT?” matching with a scared facial expression I could exhibit. He tried to console my fears by telling me, “As I’ve said, it’s just 1%.” And I answered back, “But Doc, 1% is 1%.” He shrugged off his shoulders and tapped me on my feet with his parting words, “Don’t be scared. You’ll be okay.”
“I’ll be okay” that’s what I thought but I am a little scared with the mere thought that I will be operated on in the inside. I have to call my housemates (Ruth and Ronald), my parents in Iloilo and my sister in England to inform them of my present ordeal. Their words of encouragement gave me comfort and helped me gather my courage to face the battle.
A staff came in to wheel me to the ward where I will be situated on to wait for tomorrow’s surgery. I was received by caring nurses on duty and they let me sleep to gather enough energy.
I had been listed first in line for surgery and it’s a good thing as I don’t have to wait that long. They moved me to the operating room and there I was received by a male nurse asking me for some allergies or complications. After I was cleared an anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and my female surgeon along with her two male co-surgeons came to discuss the procedures they are about to do. When everything was laid out, the anesthesiologist poked a needle on me and after a few seconds I drifted away to nowhere.
A voice calling my name woke me up. I couldn’t recognize who was it but as soon as they were assured I was awake, they moved me to a different bed and brought me to my ward to recuperate. Every hour the nurse on duty kept on coming back to check on me.
My surgeons came late afternoon to ask me how I am feeling and informed me that they have tried laparoscopy (a thin flexible tube containing a video camera and place through a small incision in the abdomen and produces images that can be seen on a computer screen with hopes of seeing my appendix) but it failed to find my appendix. My appendix is so clever to hide from them. They have to do the incision so they could find my appendix which turned out to be a very “rotten one” and ready to rupture at any moment when they took it. The main surgeon told me I have been lucky to have my appendix removed before it bursts as it would be a hard work and more complications in other vital organs in the abdomen when it happens.
The challenge didn’t stop there. My journey with pain has just begun. The pain demanded to be felt when the anesthesia subsided. Pain killers have been the only answer when pain strikes. But pain was quite persistent. It will make you feel its presence every way possible no matter how many pain killers you have taken. I cried a river as I couldn’t take the shooting pains every time I move. The pain started as just a smart pain until it became a shooting pain and rippled into a throbbing pain. It was indescribable. I couldn’t associate what type of pain was it but it is worse than having any pain I have felt in my entire life. I have a strong threshold for pain but this pain was killing me. This pain let me scream out any punitive words and bit my lips just to contain it. I complained to the head nurse that I feel like I am burning inside and they have to call my doctors. A new doctor arrived and comforted me. She induced something and I dozed off. I was relieved of such a terrible pain when I woke up. I was able to get up and thank the doctor for delivering me from such a painful situation.
All I can say, pain makes me human. Pain has a life of its own exposing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Indeed, there are a lot to learn from pain.