'PAIN'
Rey Jorca Supranes
What it is with pain? Why it demands to be felt? Why it renders an individual to be dispensable?
I had a gnawing pain in my stomach in the last two weeks of June. I just ignored it thinking as just a mere stomach spasm. It did interfere my general functioning but shrugging it off didn’t do any good as the feeling became more intense.
I took pain reliever to ease the pain but it would only give me relief for four hours. I started losing my appetite, felt nauseous and a sudden urge to vomit. Coldness blanketed my entire body while perspiring profusely. I felt sick and I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I brought myself to the hospital’s emergency rather than seeing my family doctor which turned out to be the best decision. After waiting for almost 5 hours to be attended to, the medical staff took all my vitals. I underwent to a lot of tests (ultra sound, blood test, urinalysis, x-rays) while on IV (Intravenous therapy).
While waiting for my results, three doctors came to my room and informed me that the results weren’t good. Upon hearing their words, it devastated me a bit as it still didn’t sink in what are they supposed to do with me. Until they told me that they were holding me up as I am scheduled for surgery of my appendix as early as tomorrow morning. I refuted and even suggested to do all the tests again as they might be wrong. They were firm with their decision and conducting another test is far from possible. They leave it up to me to decide if I still want the surgery or sign a waiver exempting them of any culpability of not wanting a surgery.
I have to make a decision right away if I really want the pain to go away for good. I have to make a decision that I will be cut up and dissected. I have to make a decision that this thin tube about four inches long in my lower right abdomen which causing me pain has to be removed. One doctor came back to let me sign a document that I would want a surgery and explained to me of any possibilities after the surgery: 1% of infection and 1% of infecting other good organs within my abdomen. “Why is he telling me all of these? Is he scaring me off?” are words that swirled in my mind. I have to verbalize what I am thinking until I uttered a word “WHAT?” matching with a scared facial expression I could exhibit. He tried to console my fears by telling me, “As I’ve said, it’s just 1%.” And I answered back, “But Doc, 1% is 1%.” He shrugged off his shoulders and tapped me on my feet with his parting words, “Don’t be scared. You’ll be okay.”
“I’ll be okay” that’s what I thought but I am a little scared with the mere thought that I will be operated on in the inside. I have to call my housemates (Ruth and Ronald), my parents in Iloilo and my sister in England to inform them of my present ordeal. Their words of encouragement gave me comfort and helped me gather my courage to face the battle.
A staff came in to wheel me to the ward where I will be situated on to wait for tomorrow’s surgery. I was received by caring nurses on duty and they let me sleep to gather enough energy.
I had been listed first in line for surgery and it’s a good thing as I don’t have to wait that long. They moved me to the operating room and there I was received by a male nurse asking me for some allergies or complications. After I was cleared an anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and my female surgeon along with her two male co-surgeons came to discuss the procedures they are about to do. When everything was laid out, the anesthesiologist poked a needle on me and after a few seconds I drifted away to nowhere.
A voice calling my name woke me up. I couldn’t recognize who was it but as soon as they were assured I was awake, they moved me to a different bed and brought me to my ward to recuperate. Every hour the nurse on duty kept on coming back to check on me.
My surgeons came late afternoon to ask me how I am feeling and informed me that they have tried laparoscopy (a thin flexible tube containing a video camera and place through a small incision in the abdomen and produces images that can be seen on a computer screen with hopes of seeing my appendix) but it failed to find my appendix. My appendix is so clever to hide from them. They have to do the incision so they could find my appendix which turned out to be a very “rotten one” and ready to rupture at any moment when they took it. The main surgeon told me I have been lucky to have my appendix removed before it bursts as it would be a hard work and more complications in other vital organs in the abdomen when it happens.
The challenge didn’t stop there. My journey with pain has just begun. The pain demanded to be felt when the anesthesia subsided. Pain killers have been the only answer when pain strikes. But pain was quite persistent. It will make you feel its presence every way possible no matter how many pain killers you have taken. I cried a river as I couldn’t take the shooting pains every time I move. The pain started as just a smart pain until it became a shooting pain and rippled into a throbbing pain. It was indescribable. I couldn’t associate what type of pain was it but it is worse than having any pain I have felt in my entire life. I have a strong threshold for pain but this pain was killing me. This pain let me scream out any punitive words and bit my lips just to contain it. I complained to the head nurse that I feel like I am burning inside and they have to call my doctors. A new doctor arrived and comforted me. She induced something and I dozed off. I was relieved of such a terrible pain when I woke up. I was able to get up and thank the doctor for delivering me from such a painful situation.
All I can say, pain makes me human. Pain has a life of its own exposing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Indeed, there are a lot to learn from pain.
I had a gnawing pain in my stomach in the last two weeks of June. I just ignored it thinking as just a mere stomach spasm. It did interfere my general functioning but shrugging it off didn’t do any good as the feeling became more intense.
I took pain reliever to ease the pain but it would only give me relief for four hours. I started losing my appetite, felt nauseous and a sudden urge to vomit. Coldness blanketed my entire body while perspiring profusely. I felt sick and I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I brought myself to the hospital’s emergency rather than seeing my family doctor which turned out to be the best decision. After waiting for almost 5 hours to be attended to, the medical staff took all my vitals. I underwent to a lot of tests (ultra sound, blood test, urinalysis, x-rays) while on IV (Intravenous therapy).
While waiting for my results, three doctors came to my room and informed me that the results weren’t good. Upon hearing their words, it devastated me a bit as it still didn’t sink in what are they supposed to do with me. Until they told me that they were holding me up as I am scheduled for surgery of my appendix as early as tomorrow morning. I refuted and even suggested to do all the tests again as they might be wrong. They were firm with their decision and conducting another test is far from possible. They leave it up to me to decide if I still want the surgery or sign a waiver exempting them of any culpability of not wanting a surgery.
I have to make a decision right away if I really want the pain to go away for good. I have to make a decision that I will be cut up and dissected. I have to make a decision that this thin tube about four inches long in my lower right abdomen which causing me pain has to be removed. One doctor came back to let me sign a document that I would want a surgery and explained to me of any possibilities after the surgery: 1% of infection and 1% of infecting other good organs within my abdomen. “Why is he telling me all of these? Is he scaring me off?” are words that swirled in my mind. I have to verbalize what I am thinking until I uttered a word “WHAT?” matching with a scared facial expression I could exhibit. He tried to console my fears by telling me, “As I’ve said, it’s just 1%.” And I answered back, “But Doc, 1% is 1%.” He shrugged off his shoulders and tapped me on my feet with his parting words, “Don’t be scared. You’ll be okay.”
“I’ll be okay” that’s what I thought but I am a little scared with the mere thought that I will be operated on in the inside. I have to call my housemates (Ruth and Ronald), my parents in Iloilo and my sister in England to inform them of my present ordeal. Their words of encouragement gave me comfort and helped me gather my courage to face the battle.
A staff came in to wheel me to the ward where I will be situated on to wait for tomorrow’s surgery. I was received by caring nurses on duty and they let me sleep to gather enough energy.
I had been listed first in line for surgery and it’s a good thing as I don’t have to wait that long. They moved me to the operating room and there I was received by a male nurse asking me for some allergies or complications. After I was cleared an anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and my female surgeon along with her two male co-surgeons came to discuss the procedures they are about to do. When everything was laid out, the anesthesiologist poked a needle on me and after a few seconds I drifted away to nowhere.
A voice calling my name woke me up. I couldn’t recognize who was it but as soon as they were assured I was awake, they moved me to a different bed and brought me to my ward to recuperate. Every hour the nurse on duty kept on coming back to check on me.
My surgeons came late afternoon to ask me how I am feeling and informed me that they have tried laparoscopy (a thin flexible tube containing a video camera and place through a small incision in the abdomen and produces images that can be seen on a computer screen with hopes of seeing my appendix) but it failed to find my appendix. My appendix is so clever to hide from them. They have to do the incision so they could find my appendix which turned out to be a very “rotten one” and ready to rupture at any moment when they took it. The main surgeon told me I have been lucky to have my appendix removed before it bursts as it would be a hard work and more complications in other vital organs in the abdomen when it happens.
The challenge didn’t stop there. My journey with pain has just begun. The pain demanded to be felt when the anesthesia subsided. Pain killers have been the only answer when pain strikes. But pain was quite persistent. It will make you feel its presence every way possible no matter how many pain killers you have taken. I cried a river as I couldn’t take the shooting pains every time I move. The pain started as just a smart pain until it became a shooting pain and rippled into a throbbing pain. It was indescribable. I couldn’t associate what type of pain was it but it is worse than having any pain I have felt in my entire life. I have a strong threshold for pain but this pain was killing me. This pain let me scream out any punitive words and bit my lips just to contain it. I complained to the head nurse that I feel like I am burning inside and they have to call my doctors. A new doctor arrived and comforted me. She induced something and I dozed off. I was relieved of such a terrible pain when I woke up. I was able to get up and thank the doctor for delivering me from such a painful situation.
All I can say, pain makes me human. Pain has a life of its own exposing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Indeed, there are a lot to learn from pain.
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